Friendship
By admin | June 9, 2009
I only hope to appeal to your senses. To captivate the thinking part of you that recognizes right or wrong (your personal morals) and challenges you to re-assess what you held structurally true. I want to correct you when your wrong, console you when your distressed, and walk with you when your lonely. I will hold your best interest in my forefront and continue to cover you when your exposed. Your vulnerability is my vulnerability, and I hold your challenge as my challenge.
I hope to learn from you, to read with you, to pray for you. I want you to challenge me, to look out for me, to question me. I need you to correct me when I am wrong, applaud me when I’m right, and stand with me when I’m scared. I need you to be better than me, to require of me, to push me, to occasionally even pull me. I ask of you nothing more than to guide me with one rule; the golden rule.
I will always remember that together we can achieve what we put our heart to. That though one may fall, when there is two, there is someone to help you up. I’ll remember the condolences you have given me, the times you have encouraged me, the love you have shown me. You have been a friend that has stuck by closer than a brother.
In writing this I am searching for one thing, a life well lived.
Topics: self reflection | No Comments »
I AM
By admin | April 14, 2009
I’m black. In case you haven’t take the time to look at the picture at the top, or read some of my points of views in this blog, I would like to openly state the fact that I am of African American heritage. “So what?” some might say, and others may already be like “here goes another blog about being black and downtrodden in America”. Still more may say “I’m white/yellow/blue (there is a blue man -NOT the blue man group) so?”. And I would have to agree in some sense, with all of those previous statements intents, because at some point I have thought “man it’s hard being black in America” but as I grow older it’s becoming apparent it’s just hard being an individual in america. that being said, i’ll get straight to the point; it’s time for black america to really transition.
Don’t get me wrong; Four hundred plus years of slavery, another hundred years of segregation and minimal access to education, resources and financial assistance methods have built a core culture that has lead to low post secondary education and graduation rates, high incarceration and low home ownership. Yet this is not just an African american problem, it’s an AMERICAN problem. As a nation of immigrants, migrants, miscreants and occupants, we are all in a land that very few of us can call our ‘native’ land (land in which an ‘ethnic group’ holds a long lineage) thus our true accomplishments and issues being attributable to all of us in some sense. Our nation is made up from representatives of every nation in the world, every language, every culture, every tint of skin, allowing us to have citizens that enjoy the full benefits of american inclusion and with them come the traditions and cultures into our melting pot.
Justifiably we’ve tried. Numerous programs have been enacted as a method of equalization for hundreds of years to offset active and willing institutionalized segregation and discrimination . Affirmative action, minority contracting requirements, and quoatas just haven’t done the job. It’s like putting a band aid on a wound that needs stitches. We need a re-inclusion. This won’t just affect african americans, but caucasian americans also. We need to build together instead of one sided formulas that look good on paper but don’t work in reality.
Yet the biggest part is just in the African American community itself. The standards that we have for ourselves can’t be exceded by what others have for us; basic meaning-we should expect the most, the best for us. Come to expect more. Why? Because doing the ’stanky leg’ as fun it may be does not include us in the american mainstream that we seem to have wanted to be apart of. Instead of being the source of bafoonery and entertainment as a representation of “who” we are, lets make a concerted effort to balance out our image. Some mass scale level damage control, marketing effort, and documentable certification push. Even in writing this I am being a bit more political then I should be. A lot of this should be self evident within our community. Even within myself.
This rant could go on and on. Instead I am going to end this rather abruptly. This rant was sponsored by my search for a life well lived.
Topics: racial issues | 1 Comment »
Trustee
By admin | February 9, 2009
More credit should be given to the American Indian, for they were onto something far beyond what conventional wisdom or American territorial-ism would allow. Looking around I am realizing that our place in this world is not as owners. We can’t own anything. Just as much as we own the sunlight that shines on us, or the wind that blows against us or the rain that beats us down can we own anything that was before us and will be after us. Instead we are more of trustees.
As trustees of humanity and our earth it is our responsibility that both are in a better condition than when the benefits were bestowed upon us. How can we own the air? We can’t, for if we could, then we would indeed be able to own the birds that occupy the space and the cumulus and stratus clouds that gather from time to time. Further more we would be held in neglect for the mass amounts of carcinogens and other lethals compounds the have been formulated by people.
Mr. Smith in the movie “The Matrix” had it right the whole time when he stated “humans are like virus”. I would agree. We operate to our detriment with minimal consideration for the future and maximum consideration for the present. That’s not even a wise investment strategy. As I had initially stated, I believe our role on this earth is more as trustees. Just think how many people have been on this planet. Over 150 years ago there were different, laws, rules, people and owners of the SAME land we currently inhabit. Just as much as they were able to OWN their land which they do not own (many have sold, transferred ownership or lost) currently, so can we all. Or more specifically so can’t we all.
Ownership would mean that whoever initially created or owned and inhabited the land had willed it or given it to us to do what we would with it. But instead we have stolen, or using methods of imminent domain as creative as our accounting methods, taken land that isn’t even ours. It’s no ones. It’s the creators. It’s the earth. Just as much as you can own another person, you can own land. Just as much as you can create something our of nothing using nothing but your mind and causing it to have personality and grow, can you own anything. I know, you can’t.
So why think like this? Because it’s time. Because knowledge is power. Because the more you know, the more you understand, the better off we are. Tell me, why not think like this? Thinking becomes action. Action becomes rules. Rules become law. Law governs how we operate as a society. Our societal judgement guides our future.
It’s too easy to let force be the governing body over us. He who is stronger defining what those who are weaker do. Darwin said “survival of the fittest” which is a great saying for how the animal world works. But while us humans can communicate, work together, and make decisions that benefit us all, lets make that a necessity. That ALL are well, and leave such laws of the fit to the animal kingdom. I write…better yet I type in exploration and search of one thing; a life well lived.
Topics: Humanity | 1 Comment »
Captivation
By admin | February 6, 2009
What captivates your mind? It would be great if I could say I spend my day being enlightened beyond the trivial needs of this life. To spend my days working on making the world a better place, I ascend to higher levels of thinking beyond whats conventional and in my spare time I explore the literary genius of the likes of Emerson, Tennyson and Stevenson. But instead like many of you, I go home and watch the most terrible (yet highly entertaining) shows on television, listen to the most non-sensical music and basically celebrate the opposite of productivity in every aspect available. And all the while I have this nagging feeling that life has to be more…that there is more to this than working in a cyclical manner to make enough money to pay bills to continue living and in the mean time consuming all manners of entertainment that ultimately leave me wanting more.
I never have been a person who accepted the use of illegal narcotics (including marijuana) or alcohol as an ‘escape’. And though I am not a personal user, I have slowly understood why our relaxation and escapism methods are different but the same. In a way I believe it’s just misguided interpretations of ways to get to the truth. As this is not an absolute conclusion (there are no absolutes in my world except God, taxes and death) there are going to be people who do things without purpose. Or without that purpose. Getting to the root of the problem, we need escapes. Television, music, drugs, alcohol and prescription meds (among others) are easy ways to address the stress and issues that come with life. We enjoy things that make us feel good. You could even add adrenaline junkies and high risk activities of methods of escape. These things captivate our minds, but like a band-aid in replacement of stitches, these are just temporary fixes. When the activity is over, the show is off, the alcohol has worn off or we come down from our adrenaline or drug induced high we are left right where we were with no solution. Thus it being cyclical and becoming an addiction. I don’t find addiction to be necessarily bad, it’s when these addictions control our lives in a negative way, cause our body’s to break down or impede on the peaceful enjoyment and pursuit of happiness of our neighbors. Yet cycles that are unproductive and get us no where is like using a stationary bike to arrive at a destination…spinning wheels putting you no closer to where you need to be.
So what do we need to do? Take flight. To ascend. Not literally but figuratively. To get on a higher level. To decidedly and actively participate in opening our lives up to something greater than what could be conventionally provided to us. To search for something bigger, better, more fulfilling. I wouldn’t be so brass as to presume I know what that would be. But I know what works for me, and what that is might not work for you. But as a humans can connect with each other seemingly in mind, body and soul, I can profoundly state that happiness and fulfilment may not be conjured by men. And why do this? Because you can…because it’s destined for you to be happy and get the most out of life. In doing this I am searching for one thing: a life well lived.
“make knowledge the law because ignorance is a crime”-Gemineye
Topics: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Matters of the heart
By admin | September 11, 2008
Believe me , I am no where near where I want to be when it comes to matters of the heart. I mean I am the same guy who lied, cheated, and lied some more expecting things to kind of always ‘work out’ for me. I am sure you know (or knew) a guy like me. Unfortunately I found out the hard way that no matter what your intentions are, it’s your actions that define the outcome of any situation. Despite what people say, what they DO is what will tell you about how they feel/think.
Which brings me to the matter of love. I mean I love pizza. I love my family. I love sunshine. But when does this love that I have transcend familial patterns and non animate objects to be something I share with anyone who could hurt me? Hmm. That’s tough. I have been more of someone who trusts no one. I won’t openly say that I don’t, but I also handicap myself because I won’t allow my self to truly open up to others. It’s like some sort of mental block. Emotionally it just doesn’t happen. It’s as if I don’t know how. And how could I love anyone fully who I don’t trust.
Or it could be that I am afraid of the pain associated with love. I heard someone say “love is pain”. I would rather avoid pain so I guess I should avoid love? Then could I truly ever live? I life without love without the friendship and trust and the ability to rely on another? Honestly for me, it’s a matter of acceptance. I get the moments where I feel that if I was completely honest, the true me would be too much for them. Yes, I’m a mess….lol. This is more of an open ended blog than a definitive one. In this shortness of this blog I have summed up ‘who’ I am. But in doing such I am continuing as always, searching for a life well lived.
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Topics: Uncategorized | 6 Comments »
Concepts of Running
By admin | June 29, 2008
You know what? I hate running. Yeah the cardiovascular excercise which requires you to pump your legs up and down while extending your legs in a forward motion like your some sort of locomotive. I hate it. I hate the way my legs feel and the way my lungs feel and the way my body feels the day after. And that’s after just running to the mail box. Yeah the fact that it can lead to weight loss, improved breathing and overall health and the strengthening of muscles is a side benefit. Yet one of the most important aspects of life can be derived from running.
What I learned when running is that you always reach that point where you feel like you can’t go any further. You know the point where your lungs are screaming and your wondering why you are running this far in the first place. Where your head begins to pulsate and your throat is begging for water. It’s at that point that you begin to build. You run several steps further. The next time you run several steps further than that, and moreso the next time. Through our continual push the first lap is no longer the problem and you don’t even begin registering that fact that your running until after several laps. You’ve pushed through and the pain associated with the first bench mark was temporary as you have increased your strength and skill.
Same goes in life. We all have obstacles. Though unique in nature, our individual problems can be similar in the toll they take in our lives. What I say is continue to push. Sure it’s going to be hard. Yes, it may be harder at the beginning and hard to maintain forward motion. But as it becomes habit you move forward, and what you once considered hard is now the easier part. You can do it.
I know in my personal life I was afraid of the running. Just thinking about what I had to do made me tired. But as I began to work at it and kept pressing forward, I was able to advance past my general issues and it in turn helped me develop into a deeper person.
Lets make running a habit. In doing such I am attempting one thing; to continue my search for a life well lived.
Topics: self reflection | 1 Comment »
Basis
By admin | June 19, 2008
I find artistic people amazing. I mean I truly find those who can convey the messages they have through mediums such as visual art (paintings, drawings, sculptures, etc) oratory art (spoken word, music, spoken poems, etc..) and theatrical art (acting) simply intriguing. What I find funny is that even some of my seven readers (lol) think that MY writing is insightful (which I find hilarious). I, myself, don’t find anything I write that revolutionary, influential, or even observant. Yet I am taking the time to explain why I think the way that I do.
In it’s simplicity the basis for how I think, how I act and how I present (and represent) my thoughts can be summed up in one word; belief. My beliefs are predicated on something greater than me, but since this is not a blog about my particular belief or a blog persuading you to believe as I do, I will write in a few generalizations. In it’s essence these generalizations are based off the notion that human life, and existence itself, is something that should be appreciated, respected, and cherished. Living in the only inhabitable world to our knowledge, in the only life on this earth we have, on the only planet that has cookies, it would be in our best interest to try and live together as peacefully as possible.
In no way am I trying to come off as some naive optimist. I know that our social norms have diverted generations of people to positions of servitude that have formed our nation. It’s apparent everyday that human justice and common sense have simultaneously decinigrated and have been replaced by proximity to money which is in turn relegated to power aka the ‘golden rule’ (he who has the gold makes the rules). Yet, in this same sense I believe in redemption. Though our actions may have caused hurt, harm, pain, there is an equal and opposite reaction that can help tip the scales. There are consequences to all of our actions and we have to live with them, but that does not mean good can’t come out of it. In taking an affirmative action of righting wrongs, we can help move things in a positive direction. That’s what I believe.
From what I have gathered, humanity at it’s core has more tying it together than the term ‘race’ has dividing us. Basically, though we may be of different ancestry there is more tying me to you as a human, than dividing me because of the possibility of having polar opposite skin. Case in point; when needing a heart transplant or a blood transfusion it has less to do with your race than it has to do with the blood type you have. Regardless of some of the largest factors that divide us as people, humanity unites us. A rich man can live through a heart transplant of a homeless person. An African American person can live with the lung of Caucasian person. I say this to just point out that our familiarity with being a human transcends anything that could divide us in essence.
It’s this basis of though that makes me think the way I do. To relate to others, to protect, serve, help, and embrace others. I seek to realize what it means to live and not merely be alive. As always I continue to pursue my search, which is that of a life well lived.
Topics: Humanity, self reflection | No Comments »
Time for happiness
By admin | June 4, 2008
My time for happiness is now. Believe me, if there is an appointed time for happiness on this earth, there is no time like the present. What is the average lifespan? That of an American citizen is estimated at 77 years (women live statistically longer than men). Hmm…broken down that’s about 28,105 days give or take a couple (for leap years..lol). Well I am 28 years old, that’s 10,220 days lived at the point my last birthday rolled around. I won’t say I have lived more than one-third of my statistical life, but I can say that I have been alive for that long. If I count the times spent with family, friends and loved ones, or pursuing those things that make me happy I could legitimately argue that living has consisted of about 2 years of the 28 I have been alive. Sad I know. Let me further explain.
I can’t take credit for the previous statement. In fact it was my twin sister who pointed out that I have just been alive. Going through the motions of living. You know, faking excitement when it was appropriate, going to work, school, the gym and otherwise leading a flavorless, exhausting and unfulfilled existence. My life lacked the input of my personal ambitions that would provide the spice that I needed to take risks and make decisions, regardless of size, that I could be proud of. Yeah I made decisions based on what I thought others would deem a smart, motivated, and rational person would do. And for the most part those decisions worked. I have a job. I have a car, school debt, a gym membership, house and a cynical distrust for ‘the man’. Sounds like you huh? Falling into the mold of being alive is one of the easiest ways to forget how to live. I have found that being alive has not lead to much happiness for me.
I am finally beginning to understand why some people give up all of their worldly possessions and move to third world countries, or climb mountains, or sail around the world, or volunteer in distressed areas. Indeed I understanding why others backpack and camp, fish, swim, golf, hike, shoot pool, or simply sit outside and observe nature. Why? Because it makes them happy. Our society cycles greed, consumption and fear around every corner. It can be overwhelming. You need a break, something that genuinely makes you happy. I am just beginning to find that for myself. Mortality can have that effect on you.
No one lives for ever. No president, celebrity or athlete is immortal. That being said why spend another day without doing the things that make you happy? Or spending it with the ones that make you happy? We all have responsibilities, but much like our society, everything must consist of checks and balances. Don’t spend another day being alive without living. In writing this I am searching for one thing; a life well lived.
Topics: self reflection | 2 Comments »
My Allegiance
By admin | May 28, 2008
My allegiance does not lie with a political party. It doesn’t lie with a person, place or thing. My allegiance is grafted from a myriad of ideals. Ideals that I would love to see ecompassed by a representative who understands the common person. Someone who will lay it on the line. Someone who can not only sympathize but has the capacity to empathize. Who realizes that human life is not a ‘commodity’ but a gift. I request that those who represent us politically be just as well versed in the responsibilities of the common american citizen as the public relations individuals who advise them would have you believe. Someone who knows what it’s like to be part of the 90% who don’t have the wealth. Who realizes the struggle is something we share, and that our problems, though different in description, are similar in nature. The reality of the situation is that political clout is the power to change a community, to change lives, to change a nation. Who can we trust to do thus? Anyone? No one? Attached with this entry is one of my favorite speeches, the eulogy of Robert F. Kennedy as presented by Edward Kennedy. This is up there with the speech of Mario Cuomo (democratic convention 1984) and Martin Luther Kings “I have a dream” speech. As always I will continue to search for a life well lived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiCLi9ddqlM
(video courtesy of Youtube)
Topics: Humanity | No Comments »
My collection of tears..
By admin | May 5, 2008
“…Humans are the only animal to cry emotional tears…strong emotions such as sorrow or elation may lead to crying…Emotional triggers are most often anger and grief, but crying can also be triggered by sadness, joy, fear, laughter, humor, frustration or other strongly experience emotions…”-Wikipedia
It’s an uneasy feeling to have when your at the verge of tears, to allow the emotions that are within you to be outwardly expressed in such a serene, yet noticeable way. As a young man I have been conditioned to hold my tears in. I never saw my dad or any father figure in my life cry. I never witnessed men crying on large scale, and when I did see a male cry it heightened my fight or flight senses; I figured a near insurmountable amount of danger must be near, for I saw something that was taboo in our society, a man was crying. It’s seen as a sense of weakness, a final breakdown after a defensive stand versus an adversary.
As I have grown older I have seen men cry. Yeah the outward emotion of tears haven’t been manifested in large part due to the on going taboo of crying but I have seen the tears. It’s easy to bind up the wounds in our own hearts, to feel like your misunderstood, your at it alone and the sooner you recognize no one is coming to your aid, the faster you will be able to move on.
And so my collection of tears has been a compilation of hurts (both inadvertent and deliberate), regret, physical and mental pain, abandonment, deceit, betrayal, and envy. This is compounded by the philosophy of “strength through solitude” in which you seek no help. This is no way to live.
Believe it or not you must cry. You have to let go of the tears. Clear your collection, get rid of it. It’s a hard thing, I know. It’s hard to admit your hurt or things have affected you that way. It’s even harder to admit that you need the help. But the first step towards recovery is admitting that there is a problem (I sound like a 12 step program!).
Your body was never built to hold tears in. So let them out, cleanse yourself and move forward positively. I have and it’s proved to be all the difference. Thank God for providing a process of relief. In my collection of tears I have continued to do one thing; to search for a life well lived.
Topics: Uncategorized | No Comments »